Crazy Empty Nester 101

“When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that's when I think life is over.”  ― Audrey Hepburn 

The countdown has begun, and I have less than a week left until my son spreads his wings and starts a new adventure in this life, sans me. To say that I am an emotional basket case would be an understatement, but to be much bolder in my assessment of my mental state would likely cause you to believe I could be the professor of Crazy Empty Nester 101, so I'll stick with emotional basket case. 

I'm struggling with loneliness as it is, and I know when he is gone and I have no one left to take care of, go to the movies with, have dinner with, or to laugh and joke with, that loneliness will grow into a monster that I really think I am much too weak to face at this moment. Anyway, I just need to ramble, and this is my blog space, so I guess you'll just have to deal with it or stop reading. Ok? Ok! 

When I moved here in August of last year, it was probably one of the scariest things I had ever done. At that time I had a support system here, even if it was just one person + my kiddo. So it made the scary a little less frightening. Now, it's just me and my son, so when he leaves, he takes with him what's left of my crumbling support system. I will truly be alone emotionally. Yes, I am moving in with a former coworker, so there will be someone around, but it won't be the same. Not even close. Le sigh. 

The man I love is 8 hours away from here and I see him about once a month. It's so hard to be away from him so much, when all I want to be is next to him always. All my friends live at least 5 hours away, many of them much much further. So, it's kind of difficult to go out for a coffee or a drink after work or on the weekends. I crave that interaction so much! And maybe the distance from all the people I love makes the loneliness seem worse, but all I know is that to have that bit of interaction everyday would be heaven. To not come home and feel isolated from the world must be a wonderful feeling. I just know it has to be. Gah! I live in the biggest city in which I have ever lived, and there are hundreds of thousands of people here, yet I am alone. 

So yeah, this is just me, being lonely. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, and I don't want your pity. Eww, please none of that! I just wanted to say outloud how I am feeling, so to speak. I don't want to keep bottling it up inside. But yeah, if you want to make a visit to help keep me company, I wouldn't say no to that. :) 

I'll leave off on this rather depressing subject with a photo that I took of me and my awesome son a few weeks ago. You can't help but love this kid! 

P.S.- I'll likely get worse before I get better once he is gone, so you may be subject to more whiney bits of bloggage. Fair warning.